Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A Lesson Which Took Me Long Enough To Understand

Self love and self appreciation comes from the act of displeasing others.

Well, as rude as it may sound, this "ill-mannered"statement does stand. Especially when you are surrounded by the so-called "friends" or people who takes pleasure in leading you by your nose.

Having said so, who don't enjoys the feeling of leading others on when they have a chance to. I do not deny that sometimes I do get pleasure from it too.

It is just human nature to want to influence others to have others do something or behave in a certain way to their bidding.

Another reason is because the person who is being led enjoys the feeling of being told what to do. Such person needs others to validate him. And in order to achieve that, the fastest and easiest way is to do things which others want him to do, to be a person who others want to see.

What a pathetic life! And to think that I was living in such a life for the past decade or more. Always seeking for others' approval or validation. Who will not jump on the chance when they know they can manipulate you?

Thus, when you are out standing in a storm, don't blame the weather. It is your choice to stay away from such people or continue to be with them and get belittled by them.

Dare to be yourself is something most people fail to accomplish. Since young, when we were at home, we learnt to do to our parents' bidding. In school, we had to learn to obey our teachers. As times go by, saying "No" isn't something we are not capable of saying. After all, our opinions were never meant to be heard.

Children are to be seen and not to be heard. Eventually, when we go out into the corporate world, we again had to do what our bosses want us to do. In most cases, they are the ones who appraise you and determine your increment, bonus and your future in the company.

End result? We are always out to get others' approvals and validations. We learn to change ourselves to suit others in different circumstances. At the end of the day, we only go back home tired and burnt out.

In the past, I was so naive to think that when I do what others wanted to see, they will validate me. What a dumb thinking!

Tell me, will you validate a puppet in your hands? Well, it does act according what you want it to, doesn't it? So why are you not praising it for being a good puppet?

The reason is very simple, whether if you validate it or not does not matter for it will continue to do to your bidding.

It also makes sense that the lesser you praise it, the harder it will work to please you, right?

Are you a puppet in someone's eyes right now? If so, do you think it is time for you to break out of that role?

Majority of the people will like you for your strengths and only a handful is able to love you for your weaknesses, as who you truly are.

Give up on those who only like you for your strengths, for you know they cannot, will not and should not be your true friends. Making the mistake of getting a "puppet master" as a friend can be grievous to your self esteem.

True friends always point out what they think is good for you while "puppet masters" only force you to act in the way they want to see, whether you like it or not is not the problem.

When you don't know what to do with yourself, someone will always be happy to tell you.

Stop letting those "puppet masters" direct your life. You are the sole director of what you want to see in your life. Others are only the cast and you alone will determine who are the main leads.

Leave those "life manipulators" out of your life.

Actually to a certain extend, you also have to pity and feel sorry those "puppet masters" for it is only through manipulating others can they find purpose in their lives. What a pathetic bunch of low self esteem people.

And once again, it brings us back to the point, why seek the approval from someone who doesn't even approve of himself?

What is a blind mice leading another blind mice which is also leading another blind mice?

Three blind mice!

And where will they go?

The only place they are going is down!

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